Monday, May 15, 2017

You're getting your news from the wrong places

Read the following news article to learn more about why you feel unsatisfied after reading certain news articles.

News outlets pretend slow news days don't exist

Special report on the state of the media

Many news outlets publish meaningless and meandering articles when they fail to find anything substantial to report.

This leads to long-winded, very redundant, and extremely wordy writing about pointless topics as the journalists attempt to reach their daily article quotas and minimum word counts set by their managing editors—who can be overzealous in enforcing the rules, as they are typically dick-less shells of human beings with sad little lives.

Telltale signs

One of the clearest ways to spot these articles is rambling sentences that seem to go on and on for no good reason, filled with words and phrases that are totally and completely unnecessary, reiterating the same points over and over without adding anything new.

Another red flag is when the subject of the article is unrelated to any current event, and instead seems based only on the writer's personal experiences and immediate surroundings.

Local man agrees

A local resident said these stories are the result of laziness, and they're easy to spot.

“They just come up with a topic out of thin air, get a single quote from a random person, and call it a day.”

Though these articles might come across as lazy writing to the layperson talking out of their ass with no experience writing anything beyond a grocery list, it's usually the result of the writers being overworked and losing motivation to continue plodding along in their shitty, thankless, and painfully boring jobs when the only reason they got into journalism in the first place was because they thought it would mean getting to write about something significant.

In conclusion

Often, this type of article concludes with some empty cliché as the writer attempts to wrap up the heap of shit they've just been forced to produce.

Whatever the cause, whether it's disillusioned writers or their asshole managing editors, it’s a sad state of affairs for journalism.

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