Monday, May 23, 2011

You have no appreciation for Shakespeare

Many people avoid reading Shakespeare because they get intimidated by the unfamiliar language. Others simply assume the stories to be outdated before even picking them up. If you are one of these people, you are missing out.

Shakespeare’s plays offer some of the greatest stories ever written. They are masterpieces of tragedy and comedy, with a timelessness that makes them relatable to today’s readers. The following scene from the classic Antony and Cleopatra is a perfect example.  






[Scene III. A desert road.]

(Enter MARK ANTONY and CLEOPATRA on a chariot.)

MARK ANTONY
“What a moron! Cleo, did you see that guy?”

CLEOPATRA
“See who?”

MARK ANTONY
“That guy who just cut me off,”

CLEOPATRA
“Oh.”

MARK ANTONY
“Well, did you see him?”

CLEOPATRA
"What’s it matter?”

MARK ANTONY
“So you’re going to take his side? Wow. None of you Egyptians know how to drive.”

CLEOPATRA
"Right."

Cleopatra looks off in the distance, appearing offended by the comment.

MARK ANTONY
“Oh, I know that’s just a stereotype. I guess that guy isn’t what’s bothering me.”

Cleopatra snaps out of her sulking and turns to Antony with a smile.

CLEOPATRA
“I know. You’ve been in a bad mood all day. Cheer up, and we’ll have sex when we get home.”

Antony appears satisfied for a moment.  He pauses before responding quietly.

MARK ANTONY
“Maybe we can try that experiment we talked about,”

Antony looks at his groin then back to Cleopatra  

CLEOPATRA
“What’s that supposed to mean?”

MARK ANTONY
“I think you know. If we do it now, you’ll be free to do whatever you want when we get home. At the very least it would be an efficient use of time.”

CLEOPATRA
“I’m sure time-saving is your only motivation.”

MARK ANTONY
“And for the principal of the thing.  Now that I’ve thought it up, it would be a waste not to try it. We could be the first people to do it 'on the road'. Where’s your sense of adventure?”

CLEOPATRA
“People could see us. Why not wait till we get home where there’s privacy? It’ll be worth the wait because I’ll be more comfortable.”

MARK ANTONY
“Remind me again, whose idea was it to take this cramped Egyptian chariot? If we were driving something Roman, there’d be plenty of privacy and legroom to spare.”

CLEOPATRA
“It’s too dusty, and those horses stink. Somehow this romantic setting isn’t getting me ‘in the mood’. Can we wait till we get home?”

MARK ANTONY
 “I think it would be pretty romantic if you would take the risk of being seen for me, and overcome the dust and smell.”

CLEOPATRA
 “It’s too dangerous. I know what you’re like when I’m down there. Your eyes roll back in your head, and you get those spasms, it’s probably not the best state for driving.”

MARK ANTONY
“Well, we could try letting you drive, but you’d probably have trouble seeing the road from 'down there'.”

CLEOPATRA
“Enough kidding. I think it’s too risky. If we got in an accident, you could poke my eye out.”

MARK ANTONY
“Once you’re 'down there', I’d do anything to keep you from stopping, so I promise I’d drive more carefully than ever.”

Cleopatra sighs, and thinks for a moment before responding.

CLEOPATRA
“I’ll do it. Just make sure you keep that promise. If we hit a big enough pot hole, I might accidently bite it off.”

MARK ANTONY
“Ok, Never mind. But when we get home…”

No comments:

Post a Comment